Day 9

endless sucession
of memories flying around my head
otherwise short
minutes and hours seem now inflated
dolorosos y largos
minutos hinchados
que me traen tus recuerdos
con la promesa de un
nunca más
a never more that doesn't arrive
a never ever more that takes its time

the words come alive
they entered my head
and created colonies of words
whose echoes I can hear
they entered one day
and decided to stay
on day 9 they are still there
day 9 is armaggedon day
but they are like cockroachs
that will survive anything

And the silence
silence is master
among all words
empty byte strings
worldless seconds
empty pages

long distances
getting larger
age differences
getting bigger
pain
nurturing itself from exploded hearts

silence and loneliness
uselessness and stupidity

ways of the world that are not mine
same old powerlessness
same old rules
same old jerk

sentimientos desbordados
el dolor es bueno para las palabras
de eso se alimentan
de eso viven y en eso juegan
como pequeños bichos
como pequeñas lámparas que adornan
la tierra infestada de animales parásitos


and it hurts
to walk
carrying these feelings around
they are heavy
they are a mirror
that shines in my face
like a star,
a little star of deceit
the mark of the unhappy
a blue star 14
that I'm not sure if it shines at all
or where

the certainty of being all wrong
the unfairness of life
and my tacit approval
my unwillingness to let go
it all sums up
to all the weight